12 Proven Ways You Are Hurting Your Husband Unknowingly

Do you know there are things you do unknowingly that hurt your husband and kill your marriage?

Some weeks ago, I wrote an article on the things men do that kill their marriage and got so much feedback from the men and the women too, but today I want to write on ways you may be hurting your husband unknowingly and killing your marriage without knowing it.

This is important since the science of a happy marriage states that for a marriage to succeed, every partner is expected to give not 80/20, not 60/40, not even 50/50, but 100/100% of each other. That means giving everything there is to give.

Anderson Armstrong a woman who specializes in helping women know men better, says that men and women are different in so many areas, but they are alike regarding the desire to be loved. That means if you expect love, you must also show love.

If you are a woman and you think you have tried so many things to make your marriage happy and it is not working out, I suggest you wait for a moment and check if there is where you are not getting things right. You may be surprised to see that you are hurting your husband unknowingly.

Men are wonderful people to be with when you understand what makes them happy. However, when they are not happy, so many other things may be going down with it. Still, if you are interested in helping your marriage succeed big time, then this article is written to help you understand those things that are hurting your husband unknowingly and killing your marriage too.

Here are they:

Many Ways You Are Hurting Your Husband Unknowingly:

Not showing appreciation:

Everyone wants to be appreciated and your husband is one of them, but sometimes you make your expectations so high and fail to appreciate the little things your husband did for you. Most women never have anything like thank you in their vocabulary and the experts said that the three important words that are required to help make a marriage strong are please, sorry, and thank you.

Your husband expects you to show some appreciation whenever he buys a gift or anything; it doesn’t matter how big or small it is. By showing gratitude, you are making him see that you understand how important he is to you.

Be Vigilant

Always be vigilant and do not take him for granted. You may be hurting your husband unknowingly when you take him for granted. Remember, he is not an angel to be right all the time but just be ready to find a way to demonstrate your gratitude, for that will only make him do more for you.

Stop Being Manipulative.

Being manipulative is one of the easiest ways of hurting your husband and killing your marriage. Men don’t like it when their wives are trying to control them. Remember, he is made to be your head and you are supposed to be on the supporting side.

If you are the type of woman who wants to force your husband to do all you want without giving him room to move at his own pace, or you want to make him take all the blame for everything that went wrong in your marriage, then you are that manipulative wife, and you are hurting your husband by doing that. Your husband wants you to be mature emotionally and know what will make him feel good instead.

You don’t respect him.

Respect is one of the main ingredients for a happy marriage. You are expected to show some respect for your husband. Most women are good at trashing their husbands, especially in the presence of other people. Men never enjoy a marriage where their wives will be toying with their ego or making them feel inadequate; they want to be appreciated and praised all the time. Never berate or insult him, if you do, you are hurting your husband.

The best thing you could do now to help your marriage is to show respect to him. Instead of making your friends look down on your husband because of your attitude, Make them understand that he is everything to you.

Withholding Sex and affection:

Withholding affection and not having sex is another way you are hurting your husband. The experts said that holding, squeezing, kissing, and hugging help marriage grow and build a strong bond between couples, but you are holding back all those affections; so how did you expect your relationship to grow?

We men love sex so much and one of the rules of marriage is that no one goes out to have it, so it is his right to have you whenever he needs you.

He is your husband, after all.

Never use it as a way to punish him for not fulfilling his promises or for anything at all. One way a man understands what his wife feels about him is by offering your body to him, and they feel hurt and rejected when they are refused sex.

Your husband may not tell you how he feels whenever you refuse him sex, but he will start keeping a distance from you and may go out to get satisfaction from somewhere. You know what that means.

He doesn’t matter to you any longer.

In the earlier days of your marriage, it was just the two of you. You never wanted anything to come between the two of you; now you have a job and children and the love is divided. That is good! But does he still matter to you?

You prefer to attend to your job than to know what your husband needs; you choose to be with your children than to be with the man who brought them into the world. Children are the joy of our marriage and must be given attention; yes, our job is important as well. However, your husband is the most important person you have in this life.

Making your husband first will make him know that he is important to you as well. Most marriages die because the feelings and emotions of one partner are substituted for other things. If you want to stop hurting your husband today, then make him your priority.

Ways You Are Hurting Your Husband Unknowingly: You are always unhappy.

Your marriage will be a happy marriage when you are happy too, and your happiness will give your husband courage. Your husband becomes more relaxed whenever you are happy. That will give him confidence and freedom to do anything easily and well too.

Never hold anybody responsible for your happiness and make efforts to bring your better self into your marriage, which will help it grow fast. However, feeling miserable will make your husband avoid you since he is not sure what makes you feel good or bad.

Demanding more than he can afford:

Your husband knows from the beginning of your marriage that he is responsible for making you happy by taking care of your needs, and he strives to do that, but he will never want to take care of things that are far beyond his income or budget, or when the wife complains about his financial inadequacies.

The best you can do for your husband when you know his worth financially is to keep your eyes low on what he is capable of doing. Of course, you are free to ask or demand but don’t make him feel he is incapable of taking care of his family.

Criticizing Him:

Another way you may be hurting your husband unknowingly and killing your marriage is criticism. Criticism is of two types, I am not talking about the constructive type; I am talking about fault-finding and nagging type when all you see in your husband is imperfections and flaws instead of values and goodness.

When he is striving to impress you or make you happy, but in the midst of all he is doing to make you feel good, you are seeing all he did not do well. If he has five tasks to do and he did three perfectly well, instead of praising him for doing three well, you spend most of your time condemning him to the two he didn’t do well.

See the good sides only.

Do you know what you are doing? You are making him feel as though he is falling into a bottomless pit by having you as a wife. What differentiates the happy couples from the unhappy ones is that they choose to see only the good side of their spouse.

Your husband will feel more at rest with you when you make him feel secure being with you.

Give up on yourself.

You were so meticulous about the way you dress, the way you look, and almost everything that concerned you before you got married, but now those things don’t matter to you any longer. Hold on for a moment!

Taking care of how you look now you are married is as important as saying I do. It is true that your husband should love you the way you are, but never expect him to love you better when you are looking unkempt.

Some women never care how they look, especially when they are in the house, the same way they never care about how clean or dirty their surroundings are.

He may be dying inside.

Your husband may not tell you how bad he feels seeing you the way you look, but for your interest, try to keep yourself clean all the time. Wear nice makeup if necessary. That will make him fall in love again and again with you.

Never wanted to be seen together.

You may be surprised why I added this, but I have seen this happen. I have seen women who are ashamed of their husbands. They never want people to know she is married to such a short, UN-educated, broke guy or because he is fat.

As I said initially, this is not so common; however, I feel very surprised when I see two people who took time to date each other, got married, and also became ashamed of the same person.

You have never wanted people to see the two of you hold hands or even walk down the street together. Sometimes you will not even allow him to hug or kiss you. Think about the harm you are causing him. Do not let this destroy your marriage.

Glue to your electronics:

We are all happy about what technology has brought to us. Now everything has been made easy for us. But we have to create boundaries for the usage of all these things, like our smartphones, laptops, and other electronics.

Sometimes you are so glued to it that you do not realize it is time to be with your husband. It is just like you have found another companion and your husband does not exist anymore.

I didn’t say it was wrong to use them, but you must not let it come between you and your husband. There is time for everything. When it is time to share with your husband, all the electronics must be turned off. This will give you time to discuss how your marriage will advance.

12. Put him down in front of your children.

You are hurting your husband by putting him down in public. There is nothing that can destroy a marriage like putting your husband down in public or in front of your children. Indeed, your husband behaves somehow at times; the best solution should have been to talk everything over, just the two of you, rather than bringing the children into the matter.

Involving your children means telling them to disrespect their father and that’s a serious way of hurting your husband and killing your marriage more.

 

Conclusion On Ways You Are Hurting Your Husband Unknowingly:

 Marriage is sweet when both couples are happy and work together as a team. But if you let anything take the place of the feeling you had for your spouse in the beginning, all you will see are fights, quarrels, and troubles.

I have taken my time to list most of the ways you are hurting your husband unknowingly and killing your marriage at the same time. You can study them well and shield them from destroying your marriage. Remember, all this starts with the mind. Have a positive attitude and dreams about your marriage, your family, and your husband.

If this article is interesting to you, do share it with your friends. Remember that sharing is caring, and also let me know if there is something I didn’t include or maybe something I should not have included.