Have you ever asked yourself how you could locate a good marriage counselor to help you get your marriage back again?

If your answer is yes, then this article is for you.

If you just realize that things are no longer the way they used to be and that those moments of love, joy, and peace have been replaced with chaos and quarrels, you are not alone.

My advice to you is to find a good family and marriage counselor, and I will show you how in a minute.

But here is what you must know first: 

Not all marriage counselors are created equal. While some are very well trained in the work, others are not so experienced and can do more harm than good to your marriage.

How would you feel when you realized you were going farther apart from your partner instead of getting closer, which was the very reason you visited the counselor in the first place? Bad, isn’t it? 

I will show you what to do next. 

Here’s what you’ll learn. 

In this article, you will learn how to locate a good marriage counselor without breaking a sweat. Someone who knows his job well and who will not use your challenging marriage as a learning sample.

Just keep reading!

Who Is A Good Marriage Counselor?

This is someone who combines his or her education with knowledge of marital therapy.
Their main interest is to help you work through those challenging moments in your marriage.

They will help you deal with stress and crises, as well as help you express your needs appropriately, establish good boundaries, and make compromises.

A qualified marriage counselor must have genuine credentials, like licenses and other necessary certificates, which should be acceptable to your local government or any other authority.

1. Be careful. 

To find a good counselor,  you must be very vigilant during your search. Look for those who are qualified. However, the credentials or the license are not a guarantee that he or she is the best counselor who is fit for your problems.

A recent survey shows that eighty-one (61%) of all the private marriage counselors can offer good marital counseling; the remaining 39% deal with other clinical work that is related to marital therapy.

This is why there is a need to identify a good counselor who will be more effective in achieving what you want to achieve.

2. Schedule Interviews With Them: 

To get the best from your prospective family therapist, you should try to have one or two interview sessions.

This is where you can get to know him or her better; you should also be able to ask some questions to get some insights on how this marriage therapist can best work for your particular issues.

According to John Guttman, a marriage counseling session has four stages of evaluation, such as

4 Seasons with the counselor

Session 1: Now you are here. This is your very first visit to the therapist, and you have an opportunity to describe the reasons you are seeking the services of a counselor.

You will also have the chance to tell your prospective therapist about the history of your marriage or relationship, how you met each other, and how you have been dealing with your conflicts.

After this initial counseling session, you will then receive a questionnaire to fill out, which will help the therapist understand more about the situation at hand.
Just take some time and go through the questionnaire before filling it out.
And try as much as you can, too.

3. Be very open.

It is true you are dealing with someone trained to help you go through your marital problem, but remember also that he is not a mind reader.

He will be more effective when you are open to him. So go ahead and share all that will help the counselor know what to do next.

If you decide to hold back some information, you may not get the best result from them, as they depend on information to work. 

4. Be Prepared:

You know exactly why you want to see the counselor, so be prepared to go through the process. Remember, the outcome of it all depends on you, so get a notepad and write down the reasons you are seeking to find a counselor.

Read them out to yourself often. This will help you be sure of what you want and the next line of action. 

5. Ask questions:

During these sessions, you are expected to ask him or her some pressing questions. Though it may look a little bit rude to start asking questions, remember that you are simply looking to find not just a counselor but someone keen on helping your marriage.

So you will need to ask some important questions and get the best ideas of what they are planning to do to help you.

Here are a few quick questions to ask:.

How do you plan to help us with this issue?
Have you worked with other couples in our situation, background, or age before?
From all that we have told you, what will be your next move?

Asking these questions will help you understand if the counselor is a good one to work with or if he has a biased mind rather than seeing your work out of your marital challenges.

A well-trained marriage and family counselor must be straightforward and should not take sides with anyone.

6. Interview More Than One Marriage Counselor: 

It is more advisable to have an interview with more than one marriage therapist if possible, so you can make a good choice. Even after you have made a decision, you still can change your mind if you are not satisfied with your initial choice.

Have other sessions, if possible. 

• Sessions 2 & 3 Individual counseling: Just as the name implies, the individual partner will have individual time to share their feelings concerning your relationship. The counselor will also ask some other specific questions.

Session 4: Discoveries and feedback: In this session, both of you will visit the therapist once again to receive the results from the evaluations carried out by the counselor based on your private meeting with him or her, as well as the questionnaires you filled out.

Then you should receive the results that will clearly show you your strengths and weaknesses as a couple; from there, you will know the next step and plans before your next sessions.

• Session 5 and more: From this moment on, it is counseling proper. A lot will be discussed at this point. So get yourselves ready for the re-connection.

7. They Will Also Help You Deal With Other Issues

Finding a good marriage counselor who can best help you deal with the issues in your marriage may not be as easy as you may think; you will have to do some little work and research to find one.

One good way to start is to think of your friends, relatives, or family members who have used the services of a counselor before and ask for a recommendation from them.

It may be embarrassing to let people know what you are going through in your marriage in the process of getting a recommendation.

But you will likely get the best result from neighbors, friends, and family members who have gone through that before. So go and ask them. 

And remember, you must always look for a well-educated, experienced, and well-qualified counselor if you want your marital issues dealt with more effectively.

Quick Tips: 

Finding one locally: Finding a good family counselor closer to you could be a good decision to make because it will be convenient for you to visit him or her at any time.

That is miles away and will be hard to access. This is because you will have to schedule several interview sessions before the time, and it may not be proper if you miss one of the sessions. 

Once you have fully made up your mind on which way to go, the next step should be for you to set up initial interview sessions.

This is where you will have more time to have a brief discussion with the marriage counselor, who should be able to disclose to you about himself or herself and also how they plan to help you solve your marital issues.

Just make sure that whoever you are planning to work with can value your opinion in the same way.
One question I always get from couples who are planning to see a marriage therapist is this:

How Much Would Marriage Counseling Cost?

Couples are usually afraid of the cost of working with a counselor without considering the joy that will come back to the relationship after the sessions.

Good and successful counseling should not be quantified with any amount of money if your relationship is truly important to you.

It is a step you are taking to nurture what matters most to you, so tell me what is better than spending all your money and getting your happiness back.

It’s Better Than Divorce

However, when you compare the cost of going through a divorce, you will understand that enlisting the services of a good therapist is so much better.

So those couples who resolve to go through divorce instead of taking the steps to rebuild their relationship, because they believe it is costly to seek a counselor, will often spend more to end it.

It is not just about the money that is involved, but also about the value that returns to your relationship.

Rounding up:

You can rest assured that you will get your marriage back on its feet again if you plan properly before looking for a good marriage counselor.

There are no issues or circumstances in a marriage that cannot be saved; you should decide to go through it knowing that troubles are just another step in growing together as a family.

More so, deciding to see a marriage counselor or therapist will help you get your marriage back to normal. Just start the process today, and it will overwhelm you with the results you will get.

Take this article further by sharing it with your friends and loved ones.

Get all our articles delivered to your email inbox. 

Marriage Counselor: 7 Authentic Ways To Find The Best. Appeared on Happy Marriage Builder as it is written by Murphy