A few months ago I wrote an article about the serious effects of lack of sex in marriage, and I got so many questions from my readers. Today, I will be sharing my priceless sexless marriage advice for men.
If you have ever asked questions, such as how to survive a sexless marriage without cheating when to walk away from a sexless marriage, how long a sexless marriage lasts, the reasons for sexless marriage or you are just looking for sexless marriage advice for men, then you have to pay close attention to what I want to share in this post?
In this post, I will answer all your questions one by one, and you’ll also read my ultimate sexless advice for men.
First thing first.
This is a relationship where partners don’t have sex at all, or they have only a few sexes in a year. Here is how Dr. Recher-Warner, a sex and relationship therapist from Minnesota, described a sexless marriage: it means “any partnership where sexual intimacy occurs 10 times or less within a year.” Just use the above parameter to check if your marriage looks like what has been described above.
If yes, then I thank God that you are here to learn what to do. Moreover, if both of you are okay with the frequency of sex, good. However, if it worries you, there is a solution to that and I’ll tell you soonest.
But, know that you are not alone in this.
Professor Denise A. Donnelly said that “15% of married couples did not have sex with their partner in the last six months to one year.”
Let’s look at a few reasons for a sexless marriage.
Stress:
One of the greatest influencers of your sex drive is stress. It can be overtly detrimental to your health and your sex drive if you don’t tackle it immediately.
Stress will shift your attention from the level of intimacy you share with your partner, and replace it with worries. At last, you will feel that you are tied to having sex with your partner.
Erectile Dysfunction:
If you find it hard to maintain an erection, it will make you unable to have sex. This is a common problem with men.
It has wreaked havoc in many relationships. Even in committed and loving relationships, couples may become distanced from each other, with each of them glued in the efforts to overcome the frustrating emotions of losing physical connection.
ED may be a sign of a diminishing health condition. For example, if you are diabetic or have heart disease, it will affect your erection. A high level of stress, the reaction from medications, and other emotional factors like the death of a loved one or the loss of a job can also trigger ED.
My sexless marriage advice for men is to see a good medical professional, as they they will be happy to help you take care of that.
Health Issues:
Some health issues will impact your sex drive greatly. Most of them will affect your “psychological processes of arousal.” Examples are diabetes. Stroke, kidney failure, etc. Count any sex activities out of your life if you have either of these ailments.
Side Effects from medications:
Some drugs, like high blood pressure medications, decongestants, antidepressants, etc, have serious side effects that can cause sexual dysfunctions.
Other life issues:
Other things can negatively impact your sex life. That includes depression, tension, sex rejection, loss of a job, age, and money issues. Etc. When your mind is occupied with any of these, you will find it pretty hard to maintain an erection, and if you can’t maintain an erection, then sex is impossible.
Mismatched Sex Drive:
This means that you and your partner have a different way or time of desiring sex. That makes it impossible for you to catch up with sex demands from your partner. Because of this, you have to wait until everyone is in the mood.
Child Birth:
After delivery, your wife may be asked to abstain from sex for 5 to six months. The reason is to help her body recover from the pains of delivery and to take care of the infant. You will be required to wait at the time so your partner can get her body back.
Depression:
The depression caused by sexless marriage is always in two folds: your wife will feel depressed that you are not satisfying her sexually, and you will also feel depressed that you are shortchanging her sexually too.
That is what it means because research has proved that “marital satisfaction is significantly associated with being satisfied in bed.” That also means that a lack of sex can also bring chaos and dissatisfaction.
Low Self-Esteem:
One of the things a sexless relationship can do to you is to destroy your self-esteem. Think of how amazed you feel when your partner pursues you for sex when the intimacy is still there. This boosts your ego because you know your partner still admires you.
However, when the intimacy fades, you’ll start feeling unloved, ugly, and unattracted to your partner. The feeling can make your self-esteem to nose dive and can result in a serious mental health sickness.
It Kills Trust:
Trust is what makes us feel connected with our trust, that’s why it is important to protect our relationship from being drained of trust. When sex is lacking in your relationship, it may affect the trust you have built in your relationship.
The hormone called oxytocin, which is released during sex or after orgasm has been identified as a great trust builder; that’s why it’s important not to fail to have sex.
Good sex with your partner reassures your loyalty to her and your relationship.
But don’t misunderstand her when she feels that you are not maintaining a healthy sex life with her because you are having an affair outside. Such feelings will destroy your relationship. That’s the reason you must do whatever you can to fulfill your obligation as a man and husband.
It Hurts Your Emotional Connection:
It’s not an issue when your sex life nose dives, especially when you are getting older It is bound to change, but it is not normal when it pangs for a long time.
Lack of sex or having few sexual relationships with your partner will surely cause big problems that can cost you your marriage, and if not properly handled, it can have a toll on your mental health, too. Your emotions will also be affected by sexlessness in your marriage.
Increase Temptation:
When you are not having an intimate relationship with your partner, it can cause a big problem in your family if you are not careful. Your partner may be tempted to look for an alternative outside your relationship, especially if she is a high-sex drive person. To avoid it, you must try to connect with her emotionally.
It doesn’t have a specific time frame. Firstly, it depends on what you call it. According to Marital Bonnie Eaker (a marriage therapist), When it comes to sex, “If one person thinks there is a problem, that is the definition of a problem.”
When you call it a problem, it becomes a problem that will destroy your relationship. Many couples last a lifetime with it, but some won’t last two weeks with that if they are intolerable.
The solution is to have a heart-to-heart discussion with your partner and find common ground.
Your first step to solving your sexless marriage problem is to determine what the situation means to you. Does it bother you and your mate? Is it affecting your relationship? Forget about other couples and how they live, just think of what works for your relationship.
If it is not affecting your relationship or bothers you, then forget it and move on.
But if your partner is not happy that you are not satisfying your sexual needs, it’s time to make a move towards saving your marriage before it gets out of hand.
My sexless marriage advice for men is that they figure out what started the sexlessness; probably you are not finding time to connect with your partner, you are addicted to pornography, or you are fantasizing about someone else.
You will understand why and when it started if you think back. Whatever it is, you’ll solve it if you want to. Make sure you are on the same page with your partner when dealing with the problem.
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Another important sexless marriage advice for men is to talk about their problems so they can fine solutions. Most of the time, the main reason for a sexless marriage is a lack of communication; it is important to improve your communication. Let your partner know what you are going through so you can team up and find the solution to it.
It is better than just keeping it to yourself.
Effective communication will present the ground for both of you to improve the level of your physical and emotional connection, which also helps the issue to be easier to tackle.
Start connecting with your spouse once again. Remember how you couldn’t wait to be together at the beginning of your relationship? Think of all you did to make her happy. Do you know things will be better if you try to bring those memories back?
Date her again, take her out, and have romantic dates. You will gradually start connecting with her like before.
Forget what you see in movies or pornographic movies, or what your friends told you about sex. Your marriage is not the one going through sexlessness.
So don’t be misled. Just concentrate on solving the problem as a team. Things will be okay when you do.
I hope you were able to grasp something from this sexless marriage advice for men. If yes, then go ahead and put them to work, and let me know how it worked for you later. I will be waiting to hear from you soonest. What do you think about the points I listed here? Which of them would you do first?
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