Premarital Counseling Questions: 10 Things You Must Know Now

You have been in a relationship with each other for so long now and are probably hoping to get married soon.

That’s great. One of the best things you should do is check if you are compatible, and premarital counseling will work best in that respect.

In this post are some premarital counseling questions you’ll expect from marriage counseling and how you answer them will determine how ready you are to marry.

 

What Is Premarital Counseling?

 

Premarital counseling is a unique type of counseling that helps couples mature in their relationship and become more connected before walking down the aisle.

The counseling will help the couple identify the blind spots and problem areas in their relationship.

 

Irrespective of where you are, marriage counseling can cost you about $100 to $300 per session, and the therapist recommends you attend at least four sessions before getting engaged or getting married. 

 

The premarital counseling questions I compiled in this post will help you so much. 

You will learn to communicate effectively about those big topics that can cause problems in your relationship, especially when you are not clear about your partner’s stand on your relationship.

 

Premarital Counseling Questions and Answers for You.

 

Here are a few premarital counseling questions that will allow you to get to know your better half on a deeper level. Check them out below.

 

1) Religious-Related Questions:

 

Whether you are a strong believer in Christ, a churchgoer, or somewhere in between, religious questions are a pretty tough topic to discuss in a relationship.

Two people who share different beliefs may have problems along the way if they are not properly handled.

 

In a healthy relationship, there is open communication, but in an unhappy or abusive relationship, one of the partners may want to use religion to subdue and control the other, especially during conversation.

 

Some religious beliefs place a higher value on men’s opinions and words than on women’s.

Any partner with this belief can use it to prevent the other from talking and also create an unsuitable environment for the other to feel bad.

This can also make the partner feel like their thoughts are not important.

 

Premarital counseling questions will help you identify this time bomb on time and find a way to settle it before marriage. Ask these few questions to create a solution for those religiously related issues.

 

• How much influence should we allow religion to have in our relationships, our lives, and our children’s lives?
• Is there a way we can combine our different religious beliefs and traditions to avoid squabbles in our relationship?
• How should we manage our core religious values as a couple and how do we upload them?

These are a few of the premarital counseling questions you can ask each other before marriage.

Considering them before marriage will help you feel better prepared for the marriage and the issues and responsibilities that come with it.

2) Career-Related Premarital Counseling Questions:

 

It is also important to talk about your career before tying the knot. Your career is one of the most important parts of your relationship.

Both your career and your relationship are big responsibilities, and most of the time, both of them will request your attention at the same time.

 

Problems will arise when you want to choose one over the other. Therefore, take your time as a single person to analyze the situation openly now and find a way to choose what you want.

Premarital counseling will be the best place to seek this advice, and below are a few questions to ask.

 

• We have our individual career goals. How do we reach them as a couple?
• How should we balance our parenting with our career to avoid unnecessary problems?
• How do we sacrifice for each other’s careers, dreams, and pursuits of success?
• How many hours a week or month are we expected to give to our jobs or careers or be away from home because of our careers?

 

3) Premarital Counseling Questions Regarding Emotions

 

This is where the would-be couple takes some time to examine the general emotional strengths of their relationship as well as how compatible they are emotionally.

All the marriages you know that thrive very well have strong emotional compatibility.

 

Nothing feels better than knowing that you love someone and that the same person loves and feels for you too.

However, it is one thing to love each other so much and another thing to be emotionally compatible.

 

Emotional connection simply means that you feel 100% calm and happy being around each other. This is seriously one of the best parts of every relationship and won’t be played with.

When you meet a marriage or family therapist, he will help you identify if your relationship is just basking in infatuation or if you are properly compatible both physically and emotionally.

 

These questions will guide you as you check how emotionally compatible you are.

 

• How safe and emotionally safe do I feel with my spouse?
• Do I feel safe and secure about this relationship?
• How transparent are we with each other?

 

You shouldn’t joke with any questions concerning this aspect of your relationship, so be serious as you seek the answers your spouse has given about your emotional compatibility.

 

4) Finance-Related Premarital Counseling Questions:

 

Don’t forget to ask questions about your finances before getting married. Start planning your finances from this moment if you want to avoid future issues.

Money-related issues are number one on the list of the most common marital issues.

 

So sit down and have your finances planned out. Write your expenses down on paper. Find a way to cut expenses down to avoid living from hand to mouth in the future. 

 

Having your finances planned now while you are single will help you save some money and time.

Taking time to ask yourself money-related questions and getting the answers before marriage will help you a great deal to be aware of future problems.

 

Use these questions to find a way to handle your money issues.

 

• Should we have a joint bank account, a personal bank account, a joint checking account, or even two?
• When there is an argument about how to donate or spend money, how do you tackle it?
• Do you have any debts that you are coming into this marriage with that I should know about?
• Who will pay certain bills?

 

5) Premarital Counseling Questions Concerning the Family:

 

Many people overlook this part when they talk about how to improve their relationship or marriage, but asking and answering questions about how to allocate household duties and chores can help you tackle and reduce stress in your relationship.

 

To reduce fights in your relationship, make a good plan for managing your household duties. Here are a few questions and answers to guide you.

 

• How do we share the household duties among ourselves to avoid quarrels?
• Should we take turns doing particular household duties on a daily, weekly, or monthly basis?
• Do you have any reasons or objections to sharing these household duties?

 

6) Questions About Sex in Marriage Counseling:

 

Now that you’ve found out how emotionally compatible you are with your significant other, it would also be commensurate to find out each other’s sex drive.

 

Do you have a same-sex drive or a matched-sex drive? Answering some questions like that will help you know if you are asexually compatible or not.

 

If you are planning to go for premarital counseling, you should prepare pre-cana questions and other questions on how to improve sex, or at least be on the same page about sex in your marriage.

 

Check out these questions below.

Questions About Sex: 

1. What are your favorite aspects of our intimate connection?
2. How can we enhance our communication about our desires and boundaries?
3. Are there specific fantasies or role-playing scenarios you’d like to explore?
4. What are your thoughts on trying new things in the bedroom?
5. How can we prioritize and maintain intimacy in our busy lives?
6. Are there any concerns or insecurities you’d like to address to improve our sexual connection?
7. What kind of physical affection makes you feel most loved and desired?
8. How can we create a comfortable space for open communication about our sexual needs?
9. Are there any changes or adjustments you’d like to make to our current intimate routine?
10. What are your thoughts on incorporating more spontaneity into our sexual lives?

It’s great that you emphasize the importance of premarital counseling. Here are additional questions you might consider:

7) Communication-Related Premarital Counseling Questions:

How do we handle disagreements or conflicts in our relationship?

Are there specific communication styles that make you feel heard and understood?

What can we do to ensure open and honest communication remains a priority?

8) Personal Growth and Development Questions:

How can we support each other’s personal goals and aspirations?
Are there areas in our lives where we may need individual growth, and how can we navigate that together?

9) Time Management Questions:

How do we plan to balance quality time together and individual pursuits?
Are there expectations regarding how much time we spend with extended family and friends?

10) Children and Parenting Questions:

Do we both want children and if so, how many?
How do we envision sharing parenting responsibilities, including discipline and decision-making?

Remember, open and honest communication is key to a successful and fulfilling marriage.

Rounding Up: 

In conclusion, embarking on premarital counseling is a proactive and constructive step toward building a resilient and harmonious marriage.

By addressing these essential questions, couples lay the groundwork for understanding, trust, and open communication.

As you navigate through these discussions, remember that the strength of your partnership lies in your ability to face challenges together.

Now, seize the opportunity to engage in these conversations with your partner. Be open, honest, and receptive to each other’s perspectives.

Use these premarital counseling questions as a guide to fortify the pillars of your relationship.

Embrace the journey of self-discovery and shared understanding, knowing that investing time and effort now will lead to a more fulfilling and enduring union.

Your commitment to these discussions reflects your dedication to a strong and resilient marriage.

Start this journey today, and may your path to marital bliss be filled with understanding, growth, and unwavering love.