9 Eye-Opening Marriage Destroyers And Their Best Solutions

 

It’s crystal clear that many relationships are having serious challenges, and many couples are not helping matters too; they are either too busy or reluctantly overlooking the marriage destroyers that are always there staring at them. If you know that you have done all you could yet things are still going the opposite way, you are not alone.

So many couples are as confused as you are. There are so many things that couples neglect, and yet they constitute the biggest issues that affect them most. The irony is that “if you don’t know where the rain started beating you, then you won’t know where it stops.”

In this post, I want to help you identify those insignificant yet great marriage destroyers that can harm your marriage in a flash if you don’t tackle it on time. The question is, what destroys marriage?

7 Neglected Marriage Destroyers:

1) Telling Lies:

Lies are one the critical marriage destroyers we neglect. We call it smartness, but it can destroy a relationship in a twinkle of an eye. For instance, when you go out in the morning, you tell your partner you are going straight to the office, but rather you are going to see a movie with friends somewhere else that’s not even close to the office.

Have you considered how your partner will feel when he/she finds out? You may go free with that by telling another lie to cover up. But let me tell you that you are making a great withdrawal from your emotional bank account of trust.
Continuous lying brings suspension and uncertainties that vehemently overwhelm the mind of your spouse.

At a time, anything you utter from your mouth will sound like a lie to your partner and it eventually creates a distance between you two.

2) Comparisons:

Comparing either your partner or your marriage with others is one of the marriage destroyers we unconsciously do. If you find yourself saying things like, I wish we had a marriage that’s just like Mr. A, oh! My husband/wife never dresses like Mr. B; then you are into the comparison game, and it can draw life out of your marriage.

If your marriage or your partner is different from the other couples or marriages, it doesn’t mean it is bad; it simply means your marriage or partner is unique. The uniqueness simply shows that every marriage or person can never be the same no matter what.

Most times, when we find ourselves comparing each other, it signifies that you are only selecting certain qualities to focus on, but do you know that the other person you are comparing your spouse with has a unique baggage?

Your partner may not be the outgoing type like your other neighbor, and your neighbor may not be as good a communicator as your partner. So always remember you married your partner with his/her unique qualities and stop comparing.

3) Invalidation:

If you don’t know what invalidation means, then let me tell you, so you know if you are not validating. At least you should know that not validating each other is one of the core marriage destroyers to avoid, but let’s look at what the term fully means.

What is Validation?

This is when someone’s feelings or thoughts are judged, rejected, or ignored. If you are the type that derives joy by pulling down the character, feelings, and thoughts of your significant other, then you are an invalidator.

The fact is that there is no marriage without invalidation, and it is one of the greatest relationship destroyers. It sometimes looks like a remark and sometimes involves an argument where a partner may just be ignoring or neglecting the actions of the other, just to show him/her that their feelings are not that important at all.

4) Misinterpretation:

While there are so many reasons why marriage fails and many marriage destroyers, negative interpretation contributes greatly to it. A negative interpretation is when one spouse keeps assuming something different from the partner’s actions.

Take, for instance, you call your partner’s phone number, and maybe it rings for a long time without picking up. Immediately, your mind tells you he/she is doing something wrong; that’s why he is avoiding the calls.

Negative interpretation is also one of the worst marriage destroyers and can be very bad, especially when a partner consistently assumes that the partner’s motives are very much opposite to what they are and can make even the smallest disagreements between couples become a hard nut to crack.

In other words, a little fight becomes bigger than they are when you become a self-made mind reader. Mind reading brings hopelessness and despair in relationships and after a few threats, the accused partner becomes demotivated and then seeks to leave the marriage. I know you wouldn’t like that to happen in yours. Would you?

Then take actions that will help you in preventing divorce or separation.

5) Cheating Emotionally:

Cheating of any type is one of the marriage destroyers to run away from. For example If you find yourself investing more energy and time, sharing your hopes and dreams with someone who’s not your partner, you may be guilty of this: and it can be detrimental to the success of your relationship.

The fact is that it usually starts like a child’s play and so many people believe it is not that harmful, but marriage Experts see it as cheating also, though without physical sex.

Their views are that if it persists for a long time, it usually leads to a full-blown affair and the consequences of that are that your partner feels deceived and betrayed and then he or she may decide to leave the relationship if the habit persists.

6) Disrespect:

Respect is an important key in every loving relationship. Likewise, disrespect, however, is one of the greatest marriage destroyers. Respecting your partner means you are placing a big value on your partner, and you also show a big honor by treating him/her as priceless jewelry.
Disrespect creates holes that look tiny at first, which become wide and open as the day goes by.

Everyone deserves respect and when you give one, you also receive one, so start giving it now.

7) Complacency:

This is also one of the subtle marriage destroyers we should be watchful for. This is a time in a relationship when couples believe they have arrived in their relationship that they stopped caring for and nurturing each other as well as their marriage.

Everyone focuses more on what brings joy and satisfaction to himself without caring about the partner. When this continues, one partner may start feeling forgotten and not receiving enough attention. You and I know too well that unfulfillment of your partner’s greatest emotional need is a blank check to marriage failures.

The only thing that can save your marriage from a crash landing is to start nurturing your relationship again; that’s when you will see things becoming normal again with time.

 

8) Poor Communication:

You can’t talk about marriage destroyers without mentioning poor communication. When you and your partner stop having open and honest communication, misunderstandings can easily start. One of the causes of breakdown in communication is that many partners may not say anything, believing their spouse knows their mind.

That usually leads to frustration, and as time goes on, these unspoken concerns may build up and lead to resentment. Good communication is the foundation of a healthy marriage; that includes discussing your feelings and your other concerns openly. Neglecting this can create emotional distance, and eventually, partners may feel like they’re living with a stranger.

9. Lack of Intimacy:

Another subtle destroyer in my list of marriage destroyers is lack of intimacy. The truth is that both emotional and physical intimacy remain very vital when it comes to maintaining connection in marriage. So many things can deplete intimacy in any relationship, especially when couples become too busy to work on their relationship.

Meanwhile, note that intimacy will help you to bond you and your spouse together, as well as make you feel secure with each other. Without daily working on your emotional and physical intimacy, you may. Without regularly working on your emotional and physical intimacy, you or your spouse may feel unappreciated, which can lead to dissatisfaction in the marriage.

Rebuilding intimacy can revive that essential closeness and help prevent a marriage from growing cold.

Rounding Up:

Don’t neglect these subtle but destructive behaviors in your marriage if you don’t want them to overwhelm it. They can slowly sniff life out of your relationship and make you resent and accuse each other.

I have shown you what these marriage destroyers are; if you can avoid them and keep nurturing your relationship, you’ll be able to build your bond back.
Take the necessary steps today to communicate better, show respect, and rebuild intimacy. Your marriage is worth the effort.

Remember, small changes can make a big difference. Stay committed and protect your relationship.

I am still your friend, Murphyaik.

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