To Be Loved: 9 Ways for Building Lasting Love

We are in the world where almost every spouse is faced with one challenge or the other, and that has made building love feel unachievable, but to be loved in a meaningful way is not about perfect compatibility; it’s about having the best connection with your spouse.

Research from marriage experts shows that husband and wife who give good attention to their emotional intimacy and have good communication are very likely to have long-term marital satisfaction. In this post, I would like to show you nine actionable steps you can take to be better loved by your spouse.

So whether you are about to marry, have been married years ago, or are even dating to marry, these expositions will make it easy to improve your relationship once again. If you want a relationship where you will be loved, cared for, and feel secured, then keep reading so you can learn the steps to lasting love. Let’s dive in.

What Can Make You Feel Unloved? 

Many people want to feel loved in relationships, but emotional barriers have blocked them from enjoying such. This usually arises from so many things, including feeling insecure, past trauma, and other emotional needs that’s not met. Let’s look at each of them critically.

• Insecurity: The number one thing that can make you feel unloved is when you feel insecure in your relationship. Feeling insecure makes you believe you are not worthy of love, which also leads to self-doubt and makes you internalize the feelings of inadequacy. All these will make you always misinterpret your spouse’s affection. Feeling insecure also makes you always look for your partner for reassurance, which can destroy your relationship if not treated on time. Over time, insecurity can create a self-fulfilling cycle where fear of rejection makes it hard for others to reach them emotionally, further feeding their feeling of being unloved.
• Past Relationship Trauma: Another critical thing that can create lasting impact in your relationship is your past relationship challenges. Such experiences can make it very hard for you to open up to your new relationship. For example, if you were betrayed, neglected, or emotionally abused, the trauma can create deep-seated fear, trust issues, or vulnerability. This fear can make you unconsciously guard yourself often to avoid being hurt again. The truma will also make you feel unsafe even when your partner is trying everything to show genuine love to you.
• Unmet Emotional Needs: Unmet emotional needs also contribute to making one feel unloved. If you had grown up in a home where your partner doesn’t give a dime about your emotional needs, it would make you always feel empty or disconnected. Feeling neglected or uncared for affects self-worth, and your beliefs about love will also change, and trusting people will be a thing of the past. The worst of it all is that you will never recognize real love when it comes, which will make you constantly yearn to be loved.

9 Things You Can Do To Be Loved Perfectly Your Relationship:

1) Cultivate self-love and confidence first:

If you want to be loved genuinely, then try to build up your self-love first. People may not find the reason to love you if you don’t first love yourself. It is how you perceive yourself that determines how much love you’ll attract from others. So, first recognize your self-worth if you want to attract the partner that will honor and respect you, because self-worth shows that you deserve to be loved in more excellent ways.

To build your confidence, I advise that you first acknowledge your strength and embrace your unique qualities. Also, setting your boundaries, affirming your values, and doing other self-care practices can help you improve your positive self-image. Recent studies from experts show that loving yourself better can always result in relationship satisfaction; therefore, start building if you want to be loved better.

2) Active Listening And Empathy:

Active listening and empathy are important. Empathy is very important in making someone feel loved and valued. Genuinely listening to your partner will make it easier for both of you to feel safe when expressing yourselves. Read my post to understand empathy better.

Active listening is very important too, and when you combine it with empathy, it provides opportunities to understand each other’s emotions deeply, which helps in building lasting love. To practice empathy, always concentrate when in conversation with your spouse, make eye contact, and respond thoughtfully.

Paraphrasing what your partner shares can also help show that you understand their perspective. As you emphasize and listen attentively to your partner, you are setting up the standard needed to be loved and valued better in a relationship. That will allow both of you to feel heard and valued.

4) Be Honest About What You’re Looking For Choosing to be honest in your marriage from the beginning is crucial when you want create a foundation where both of you will feel secure. When you openly let your intending partner understand what you want in your relationship, you are creating an environment to attract someone who will align with your value. “Like attract like.”

That simply means that your openness will invite people who also want to be loved for who they are to you. Sharing your dream type of spouse begins by knowing exactly what to be loved means to you and then letting your dreams know. Approach the conversation with confidence and curiosity, encouraging mutual honesty for long-lasting harmony.

5)  Be Positive As You Work On Your Relationship:

Being positive-minded and optimistic can help you build a better environment for genuine connection in your relationship. Naturally, people are attracted to those who are open in heart. So when you are positive and show gratitude, it highlights how you appreciate yourself, which will create a better and more fulfilling relationship.

This positive and heartfelt gratitude mindset aligns with the desire to be loved because positivity attracts people and creates a sense of security in relationships. Understanding optimism gives you the opportunity to see challenges as opportunity to growth. A positive mindset makes your relationship more secure and helps to build.

6) Engage in personal growth and self-improvement:

It is possible to neglect self-care while waiting to be loved by your partner. If that is so, then that’s not good. To achieve your aim, I will advice you to concentrate on your personal growth and self-improvement first. By doing so, you are building resilience, gaining clarity emotionally and creating a sense of purpose that engenders healing from past hurt

Working on areas like self-awareness, emotional regulation, and goal-setting strengthens your ability to process pain and move forward healthily. The truth is that when you succeed in building your self-esteem up, it will attract people who value similar qualities, creating the potential for balanced and understanding relationships.

7) Live Authentically and Embrace Your True Self:

Fear of rejections can sometimes make one to always be guard and limit their ability to form deep connections with anybody. If this looks like you, then stop the fear, as it leads you to self-protection mechanisms like avoiding vulnerability and withholding feelings.

All these will block authentic love from blossoming. Meanwhile, when you embrace emotional vulnerability, you have opened a good ground for true intimacy to develop. First, let your partner know your thoughts and feelings, even if you are not comfortable with that. Pay attention and create a good environment for honest conversation.

Over time, showing your authentic self helps build trust, making it easier for both partners to feel valued and understood. Opening up emotionally can lead to a deeper, more fulfilling connection in love.

8) Live Your Life and Embrace Your True Self:

The best thing you can do for yourself at this point you want to be loved better is to try to live your life and not other people’s life. Living your life allows you to embrace your true self and to create space for good connections. When you drop facades and allow others to see who you are, it makes them trust you well and it helps you to draw quality relationships to you.

Being authentic invites people to want to connect deeper with you. As you start living your life, you are quite sure you will draw on the people that will embrace your uniqueness into your life.

9) Be patient:

I want you to understand that this steps you are taking to position yourself to be loved won’t be automatic.

Love takes time and comes naturally, so you can’t expect it to come immediately. Just be patient and believe that your processes are working out. Building a meaningful connection requires that you allow emotions to come naturally. Therefore, hold on to your steps and know that uncertainties will also be there. Trust the timing of love and let go of every urgency. Just believe that the right things will unfold in due time and that you will find peace and eventually find love

In Conclusion:

As I conclude this post, I want you to know that embracing self-love and building vulnerability should be paramount to you when you want to build deep and lasting relationship. This is because self-love provides you with solid foundation and empowers you to love and value yourself first and set healthy boundaries.

Vulnerability, in the other hand, creates genuine connection by giving others the opportunity to see your true self. Combining these two together creates an environment where love can thrive genuinely and automatically.

As you learn to be who you are created to be, you are not only attracting genuine love to yourself but enriching your relationship with honesty and trust. From this moment, try to make yourself vulnerable and love yourself two and it will marvel you what results you have have soon.