11 Of The Deadly Courtship Mistakes To Avoid Now
Have you made some deadly courtship mistakes in the past that caused you to lose you’re supposed to be a partner? Courtship is a very important time for would-be couples, it is a time to study and know your prospective husband or wife.
But it is also a very tricky moment and therefore requires great carefulness and some understanding. If courtship is easy, then why do you think people still make mistakes getting married to the wrong person? Why do we also have so many broken relationships?
It can only be a result of a lack of proper preparations. Many people especially the youths believe they know it all and therefore show a deaf ear to advice. Courtship or dating offers good avenues to know your intending partner well, but lots of people end up ruining their opportunities of getting hooked up by making some deadly courtship mistakes.
I am here to guide you right so you don’t make such deadly courtship mistakes again on your next date.
Deadly Courtship Mistakes to Avoid in Your Relationship.
1) Don’t try to be who you are not:
It is always amazing to me when I see people trying to change their nature or lifestyles because they want to get married. They believe you have to be the best before they can find and sustain someone’s love.
That’s a grave mistake. You are great the way you are, and God understands why he made you the way you are. If you pretend to be who you are not just because you want to keep your love, that’s one of the deadly courtship mistakes to make. Time is coming when everything will be revealed and you will blame yourself for it. The only remedy for that is to have full confidence and love for yourself and then people will love you back.
2) Don’t tell lies:
Every successful relationship is based on truth, and so it is necessary to start your marriage foundation with truth as well. Since courtship or dating is the only way to know each other better before marriage, you must make your new date understand that you have a past.
For example, let him or her know that you had a child in your school days. If he/she finds out later in the marriage, it may bring great chaos between you. Everyone has a past and your past can’t jeopardize your present the truth and let the relationship start on a clean page, not regarding the history of your life. Hiding that is one of the deadly courtship mistakes to make.
3) Don’t be in a hurry:
It’s always interesting to take things easy, you may hit your leg with a stone while you are in a rush. The same is applied to marriage. When you are in a hurry to get married, your eyes may be blinded to know if she/ he is the right person for you.
Remember that marriage or even spending the rest of your life with someone is not child’s play, so be very careful when you are choosing your partner, or else you will regret it for the rest of your life.
My advice to you so you don’t make these deadly courtship mistakes is that you don’t rush things, take your time, and be intentional about it. A good decision will help you build your marriage on a foundation of compatibility, trust, and love. Additionally, remember that patience, in choosing your partner can save you from future heartbreaks.
4) Be ready to back out:-
It doesn’t matter how handsome/ beautiful or interesting your new lover is, before you make these deadly mistakes, always assure yourself that if he or she fails, you can always get a better one. This will give you the courage to throw in the towel when you find out that the two of you are not compatible with each other.
Never believe he or she will change in the future. If they wouldn’t change now, don’t expect him to change later. Compatibility matters in any relationship, so prioritize your emotional well-being and not just think about it.
Holding on to these perspectives will help you build a relationship that will work well for you without compromising yourself
5) Act of playing hard to get:-
It is good sometimes to play a little tough with your new date. You are not doing so to scare the life out of him/ her, but you want to play not cheap. Some men may claim they don’t like girls that don’t commit to them easily within some days but let me tell you that men love girls who know how to keep them in suspense about them.
However, this doesn’t work for everyone.
Researchers, Jia, and Dia Dong in 2014 said that playing hard to get may decree liking and May also increase feelings to some. My advice is that you become more sensitive when you are playing the game; if it’s not working out for you, then change to your plan B.
6) Never tell your life stories: –
It’s always joyful to have stories to tell your new date, at least to keep the moment alive, but don’t make the mistake of divulging your whole self to him/ her. Obviously, you always waited for that moment to go on a date together and also to know him/her, but telling everything about yourself on your first date can be a disaster.
For example; if you pour a bucket of water a match, the fire goes out immediately, that can also happen when you want to suffocate your date with your story. And so it doesn’t matter how interesting or wonderful your stories are, make it a mystery for your date to uncover in your subsequent dates.
7) Ignoring Red Flags for the Sake of Love:
It is common to overlook all the red flags you see during your courtship just because you are deeply in love or afraid of being dumped. However, I want you to know that ignoring these warning signs, including jealousy, lack of empathy or controlling behavior can result in serious challenges in the future.
Courtship is the best time to pay close attention to your partner’s actions and reactions in all situations. If you notice anything that makes you uncomfortable, try and address them on time or better reconsider your stand in the relationship. Don’t neglect your instincts and be more serious about your well-being than other temporal emotions.
8. Not Getting Your Boundaries Right in the Relationship:
Another important deadly courtship mistake that can cause issues in the future is not setting your boundaries on time in your relationship. Boundaries are important for a healthy relationship, but many don’t give thought to it in their relationship. This can cause resentment, disrespect, or feelings of neglect.
Boundaries will help you define what you want in your relationship. It will also help you establish mutual respect between the two of you. For example, tell your partner your expectations about personal space, communication, etc. Lack of boundaries can result in unhealthy dynamics, but clear boundaries foster stronger and more resilient relationships.
9. Involving Too Many Third Parties in Your Relationship:
Involving many friends and family in the affairs of your relationship is another deadly courtship mistake you must avoid. Am not saying it is wrong to seek advice from family and friends, but involving many people is bad.
The reason is that people have different opinions and getting the opinion from different people might get you confused or pressured. In as much as it’s necessary to consider wise counsel, be sure you select the best out of them all, to help your relationship. Relying solely on people’s counsel can cause a big crack in your relationship, as it weakens autonomy.
10. You Focus Only on Your Needs, Not Your Partners:
Being interested in your needs only is another deadly courtship mistake to avoid, as courtship should be a two-way process of knowing each other better instead of one. However, during courtship, many people are only focused on what they want without considering what their partner’s aspirations are.
An imbalance in relationships can make your partner feel neglected or unappreciated. Therefore, practice active listening, and show empathy when necessary. A healthy relationship thrives when everyone involved feels valued and loved.
11. Failing to Heal from Past Relationship:
Getting into a new relationship with the hurts from your previous relationship can also be one of the biggest deadly courtship mistakes you should avoid. Unresolved emotional baggage, couples with trust issues, and having feelings for your ex can also impact your new relationship negatively.
My sincere advice to you is that you reflect, and let go of all these past before going into a new relationship. A successful relationship begins with two emotionally available partners who are ready to work as a team to build their future.
Rounding up On Deadly Courtship Mistakes To Avoid:
If you have fallen victim to one or more of these deadly courtship mistakes I listed in this article, it may be either because you knew about but overlooked them, or you didn’t know at all.
Now you know everything, just try to take action now to avoid more mistakes.
