7 Active Listening Techniques To Boost Your Marriage Now

One of the best recipes to make your marriage succeed is being a good listener. Well, listening doesn’t end with just watching your spouse talk. Other things make a good listener. So, if you are interested in taking your marriage to another level, join me as I reveal these active listening techniques that will help you boost your marriage.

Whether you are about to marry or have been married for years now, you should be more concerned about your communication skills. This is because communication is the backbone of every successful relationship. Active listening is part of effective communication in a marriage.

You must get it right so your relationship won’t be negatively affected. Therefore, join me on this ride as we look at the different active listening techniques that will help you build lasting memories in your marriage. Before we do that, let us get acquainted with what active listening stands for.

What are active listening techniques?

Active listening techniques are the approaches used when listening to a spouse or someone else to fully understand them, respond effectively, and grasp the reasons behind the conversation. Active listening is the core aspect of communication because it won’t make any sense if someone speaks to you and you don’t understand.

Active listening techniques in marriage then mean knowing how to pay attention to your partner so that your spouse will feel heard and understood. This almost insignificant act of listening can positively affect your marriage, resulting in happier and healthier relationships.

That being said, let us look at how to use active listening techniques to make your marriage better.

How to Boost Your Marriage with Active Listening Techniques:

If you read this post to this level, that means you are interested in boosting your marriage. The truth is that whether you are already a good listener or you are hoping to be one, you can always learn to be better. Below are some ways you can improve your listening skills.

1. Be in the conversation.

If you are in a conversation with your spouse and you don’t get good results after the conversation, chances are that you were not present in the conversation. Being in the conversation means that you are 100% attentive to what you are saying. It means giving your full attention, without distractions or interruptions, to the speaker.

Actively listening to your partner shows that you have respect for them and that you value whatever they are saying. You will also find out that you learned something by being fully attentive. It will also be easier to connect deeply with each other. Your partner won’t be happy that you are operating your laptop or phone when they have something to tell you. Therefore, learn to be fully connected to your spouse’s conversation.

2. Look directly at the speaker and make eye contact.

My second active listening technique is about making eye contact with your spouse when they are talking; this may be intimidating to the speaker at first if you have not bonded with each other, so be careful not to stare. You must also be careful of what your eye contact is saying at any point in your conversation.

This is because most times we get carried away when we are expecting another joke or waiting for the next word without knowing what our eyes are saying. So when making eye contact, always try to break it every 3–5 seconds. That will show your partner that you are attractive. You can also look away for a few seconds, but don’t look down, as it signifies that you want to end the conversation.

3. Be attentive to those non-verbal cues:

What does non-verbal conversation mean? It means all the conversation that doesn’t come through the mouth but through actions. This includes using facial expressions, hands, and other parts of the body, but not the mouth. Research shows that almost all conversations are four times more non-verbal than verbal.

In our conversation, nonverbal signs can be used to emphasize our words, regulate our speeches, or substitute our words. That’s why it’s important to be attentive to them. What is their body language saying? Are they wiping their eyes or rubbing their hair? You’ll learn so much when you listen to those non-verbal signs.

4. Don’t interrupt them.

“You heard that well.” Interrupting your partner during conversation is not among the good active listening techniques. So what should you do? Wait until they finish talking. The speaker could feel disrespected when you do and become angry. I know you may have some questions to ask, but wait for the best time to do that.

The best time to interrupt is when there is an emergency; if not, let the conversation end first before any interruption. If you find yourself interrupting many times during a conversation, then try to improve your active listening skills.

5. Use open-ended questions more:

Asking open-ended questions is another powerful active listening technique that works better. It will help you encourage your partner to open up during your conversation. Open-ended questions will also help you to explore your partner’s perspective and build rapport.

So, what are open-ended questions? These are the types of questions that require the other person to say just yes or no. They usually start with “how,” what, where, and when. This phrase encourages your speaker to focus more on the topic. Some examples of these words are: What are your interest in that?

How did you know that?

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Can you share more about that?

When asking these questions, use concise and clear questions, then avoid asking leading questions.

6. Don’t Judge or Conclude:

Judging your partner without waiting for them to finish the conversation or running to a conclusion about what they intend to say is another bad communication skill. You will make mistakes when you are always quick to judge or conclude what your partner wants to say. Every word has a perspective.

Concentrate on hearing them and understanding the reason they are saying what they are saying. You may be wrong with your assumptions and cause more trouble than saving your marriage.

7. Ask relevant questions:

Asking relevant questions is part of active listening techniques during communication. Relevant questions show that you paid good attention and that you learned something good from the conversation.

However, note that the best time to ask your questions is not when the speaker is still on, but when they are done. Your question will show how relevant their conversation is, and if you ask silly questions, it could make the speaker feel bad and unheard. That can cause more trouble in your relationship.

Now that you have learned how to improve active listening techniques, let’s look at the benefits of active listening.

The Importance of Active Listening in Marriage:

1. It Can Make Your Marriage Better:

Actively listening to your partner talk will help you understand their perception or the reason behind their conversation with you. When you ask questions, you will understand what they need or what can help your marriage.

It also builds trust and creates a very safe and friendly environment. This will therefore reduce the risk of conflicts and then help you work as a team to navigate the issues in your marriage. Active listening also helps couples deepen their bonds.

2. It makes conflict resolution easier.

Active listening engenders clarity and good understanding. By effectively understanding your partner’s emotions and perspectives, you would have known the reasons for the challenges you are facing. Knowing the causes of those challenges allows you and your partner to prevent them from coming back into your relationship. Both of you will also come together as a team to work on those issues.

3. It helps to improve bonds in marriage.

These active listening techniques will help you improve your bond with your spouse. Nothing feels good like knowing that your partner respects your perspectives and opinions; that’s what active listening does. Being 100 percent attentive to your partner shows that you value them and their words.

That will also make them trust you better. By doing so, they will be open and relaxed enough to tell you more about their entire feelings. Trust is one of the best ingredients of a happy relationship; over time, trust will deepen your marital bond. 

4. Reduce misunderstandings and assumptions:

Listening attentively to your spouse saves your marriage from other assumptions and misunderstandings. One of the main reasons for misunderstandings in any relationship is the inability to understand each other. Without understanding your spouse, you may resolve to assume what may not be on your partner’s mind.

Assumptions and a lack of understanding can destroy any relationship if not properly dealt with. Listening attentively helps you understand what your partner says. You’ll be able to understand the importance of what they say and then use it to make your relationship better. You will also be able to discover and address any emotions or concerns that can harm your relationship in the future, and make sure they don’t escalate to harm your marriage.

5: Enhance Your Communication Skills:

Active listening is one of the characteristics of good communication. By listening actively, you can improve your ability to comprehend and retain what your spouse is saying. By comprehending, retaining, and analyzing what your partner is saying, you can respond to them better and more persuasively.

That will also allow you to adapt your communication pattern and tone to be good for any audience and situation. As you do that continually, your communication skills will continue to improve until they become perfect.

In Conclusion:

Ultimately, active listening is a key skill in the potential transformation of your marriage, and the active listening techniques I shared here will help you. When you are physically present, maintain eye contact, listen to more than words, and use cues immediately that show your interest in them. This conveys respect and value. Deeper empathy and connection come when we ask open-ended, relevant questions.

Utilizing such active listening techniques will only allow you to gain trust and remove ambiguities. It builds a positive and conversational environment that makes your partner feel heard or valued.

All these help you create a strong connection, which in turn makes it way easier to resolve conflicts, makes your teamwork easier, and also gives you reasons to believe your marriage is going great.

After all, strong communication is the foundation of any great relationship. By using your training to tune into one another, you create a greater intimacy that greatly strengthens the communication in your marriage. Take these steps seriously, and you will see the results you’ll get.