Sure Ways To Make Your Marriage Successful Without Stress
Do you know you can make your marriage successful once again?
What is the statue of your marriage now? Happy or unhappy? Have you ever considered giving 100% yourself to make your marriage successful? This is a question only you can answer. It took me time to understand that 50:50 is not a good score when it comes to making a marriage work properly.
There was a time in my marriage when I thought everything was going to be over between my wife and me. We loved each other so much, but we still have lots of differences. It doesn’t mean I wasn’t trying all I could to make everything work out well, but one thing was clear and that is the fact that I didn’t do what I was supposed to do.
But we love each other
We were so much in love with each other; we share time together, we share the domestic chore, we have special romantic dates, and we do many other things we know that can make a marriage successful, yet we quarrel and fight more often.
Then I asked myself this question: “what are we not doing right”?
Is this your story?
Just like I, I know you have asked questions like these. After doing all you could to make your marriage happy, and yet everything seems to be crashing down.
Don’t worry.
In this post, I will show you some ways to make your marriage successful. I will show you one thing you have not tried before, and that is the same thing that changed the status of my marriage. The secret I want to let you in that will help make your marriage successful in a short time is to try to offer 100% yourself and not 50% to save your marriage.
Let me explain
You and I know too well that one of the best ways to receive anything in life is to give, and what you give also determines exactly what you’ll receive in the end. Simply put, when you give love, you are sure to receive love; when you give life, you’ll receive life also.
The most important of all is that the amount you give also determines how much you will receive too. The Bible made this clear in Matthew 7:2 (Parallel Version): ”For the same way you judge others, you will be judged and the measure you use, it will be measured to you”.
Though relationships should not be based on what you give, that is what you get; however, if you really want to make your marriage successful and get the best from it, you should, first of all, consider giving your best, even when your partner is not giving half of it.
Dr. Phils quote on this
“Relationships are not 50/50 (but 100/100). This is because you are responsible for what you bring to your relationship, what you elicit from your partner, and what you maintain or allow with your partner. You need to look at you”.
Obviously, it may be easy for you to consider the 50:50 games, but always remember that when you stop in the middle, your partner will definitely meet you there. However, mind you that the center (50:50) is where keeping scores and giving conditions are located.
It’s a place where you think the relationship is a transaction, where you give half and expect half back. But a good relationship is all about giving everything freely without expecting to get the same amount in return.
Giving 100% self means choosing the way of complete commitment to your marriage and your mate, not regarding how good or bad your relationship is.
It also means getting up from your bed in the morning and the first thing that comes to your mind is, ‘what one thing can I do today to make my marriage stronger than it was yesterday, even when your partner is not doing the same?”
Ephesians 5:25 says
Husband, love your wife, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her”.
In this chapter of the Bible, we men were commanded to give all (100%) to our wives and also to die daily for her. Until I realized this, I was still struggling to keep a balance in my marriage.
If you are really interested in knowing how to make your marriage successful as I did, then here are 7 things you must consider doing starting now.
How You Can Make Your Marriage Successful:
1) Give more of your Time:
Trust me; I know too well that you have your business to attend to, your job, the house chores and so many other things that are yawning for your time, but you must make out time for your marriage and your spouse. One major reason why there are so many breakups in our society today is that couples rarely have time to share together.
You see! Most couples find it hard to give each other enough time each day, each week and each month. It is actually not a lack of time that brings separation, but just that without spending time together, it is impossible to meet those needs that will help you make your marriage Successful. There is personal attention needed to sustain love in a marriage that only comes through spending time together.
Here is some importance of spending time together.
- It will make your relationship stronger
- You can understand what has been on your spouse’s mind all the while.
- You feel happier because you are with the love of your life.
- You have time to discuss the way forward.
Having all these benefits in mind, I think you should try to make time available.
2: Give more attention.
If you are actually looking for ways to make your marriage successful, which I know you are, then you have to keep paying attention to your spouse. I said this because I know a lot of things like work, children, and church activities are all there, and if we are not careful, it will steal all our attention that we will forget our spouse.
Paying attention to our spouse means love. One of the ways you can show someone you love him/her is by paying attention. It simply shows them that you value, care for, and love them.
When you give attention to your spouse, you are simply saying to him/her, ”I value you,” and you matter to me more than anything, and you are also worth listening to. Giving attention also means giving up your whole time, and our time is our life.
When you consider how you fell in love in the first place, you’ll realize that it all started from paying attention to someone and the other person paying attention to you too.
Remember those days, when you will call him/her time and time again because you want to know how she is doing? You will buy flowers, talk for hours, write love notes, and spend hours together.
Then ask yourself if those things are still in place in your relationship now. If they are not, then try to get them back.
3 Communicate Effectively:-
You can never talk about a successful marriage/relationship without talking about effective communication. Simply put, communication is vital to marriage, just as blood is to human beings.
Now, it is not just mere communication, but to do it effectively, the way it will make your marriage successful. There are couples who find it difficult to have chit a chat for just 1 minute; the minute they settle down to talk, you see them raising up their voices.
The reason is that they have not discovered or learned how to communicate effectively. Probably, every one of them wants to talk without listening to the other.
If you fit my description, then all hope is not lost. What you should do is learn the skills in communication; it will help you in your marriage.
Here is an article that will help you in your communication.
4) Practice Empathy:
Another important way to make your marriage successful is by practicing empathy. This is all about seeing your partner’s experiences and emotions as they are your’s. That will make you always think before you act.
Practicing empathy will make you not always react based on your feelings; instead, you pause and imagine how your partner feels in any situation. Doing this will help to reduce quarrel and will create a safe environment where both of you will feel secure and loved.
5) Learn To Support Each Other’s Growth:
The truth is that every successful relationship thrives when there is maximum support for each partner. So, if you want your marriage to be successful, then learn to encourage when they are doing anything important. Support their goals, careers, and hobbies. Also, take time to celebrate wins, no matter how small they are.
This act will help to build trust, thereby creating a balance between you as you build your marriage together.
Rounding up:-
From this article, you should be able to see the three important ways to make your marriage successful. Just put them to practice and see what will become of your marriage from this moment
Cheers!This is still your in-house counselor. Murphyaik
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